Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Happy Holidays to you!

Well, I'm off to Illinois to spend the weekend with my brother and his family. We will celebrate the holidays with them and exchange gifts. We'll also eat a lot of really good food and I'll get to visit with my nieces and nephews. I am really looking forward to the time away.

I hope you have good holidays, however you spend them. If you are traveling, I wish you a safe journey.

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


So, as a therapist, let me tell you a little about depression. Depression is made up of lots of regressions.

First, when people are depressed they tend to forget about how time passes as an adult and think about time from a young child's perspective. For example, depressed people think that they have been, or they will be depressed "forever". When really, 3 weeks, 3 months, even 3 years isn't forever. But, if you were a young child, say 3 weeks old, then 3 weeks is forever. It's actually a lifetime. And, 3 months or 3 years to a 3 week old is beyond comprehension.
Get it?

Second, when people are depressed they feel helpless. They forget that they take care of themselves every day. They get themselves up and dressed. They feed themselves, go to work, or school and often take care of others. See where this is going in terms of regression? An infant or very young child cannot take care of him/herself. S/he IS helpless and relies on others for survival. A young child cannot distract himself from his feelings. Whereas an adult can. He can take a nap, go for a walk, call a friend, eat something...whatever it takes to distract from the depression, if even for just a little while.

Third, when people are depressed they feel hopeless. As if nothing is going to change, ever. Babies really don't have any idea that things will be different for them. But things always change.

We just have to remember about time as we know it as adults, that we are not helpless nor do things stay stagnant.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Fighting depression

I think I've figured out what's been going on with me. I've been fighting depression. So far, I've been successful at keeping it at bay. But, its not always easy.

I think it mostly has to do with the death of my mother a year and a half ago. Now that I'm living back in my old stomping grounds her death has been incredibly crystal clear, and incredibly painful. I chose to move back to the Detroit area to be closer to her. I had envisioned that I would pick h er up so she could come to my house and spend the day with me. She'd sit in this really comfortable arm chair I have, read the paper and take a nap while I cooked a nice comfort meal. We'd chat a while, drink some tea and have dinner. Then I'd take her home. So many weekends have passed since I've moved here where that fantasy has been really strong in my mind. And, it can't happen. So, I'd grieve some more.

There have also been times when I have felt the urge to call her. Only I remember that I can't. Then Thanksgiving approached and I was even more painfully aware of my loss. Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday because most of my family would be together. Family was important to her. She would always ask us to just be together for a meal whenever it was her birthday or mother's day, as a gift to her.

Plus, I miss my old house. No, I haven't sold it yet. Nor have I been able to rent it. I suppose if I had, then I wouldn't miss it so much. But since I still have ties to it and I have to check on it every once in a while, I seem to be unable to fully let it go in my mind.

And, I think that change is just plain painful. And I've had and will have lots of changes in my life.

What, you may ask, am I doing to fight off my depression? Well, I try real hard to let the feelings come. I know that having feelings is not a bad thing; that feelings are useful. (That's what we therapists always tell our patients!) And, I'm exercising, eating right, taking my vitamins, trying hard to get enough sleep, staying in touch with friends and family and doing things that make me happy. You know, I enjoy reading, playing the piano, making pottery, taking photos of all sorts of people and things, and now knitting.

What do you do to fend off depression?

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Waning interest.

Hi folks,
You may have forgotten me, but I haven't forgotten you. I've just had waning interest in posting on my blog. I made a huge announcement back in October and haven't posted since. Sorry about that. I've not done much of anything exciting, except doing tons of paperwork for the adoption stuff. And now with the holiday's coming and work being what it is, I still don't have much interest but I did want to assure all of you that I'm still around and still thinking about you.

Talk soon, I promise.

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