Momma Me Ah!

I can't believe it! It's been almost 3 months since little Miss J. has come home. As you can imagine I am incredibly exhausted, and incredibly in love.

Life has been a whirlwind since the end of August. I'm still trying to catch my breath.

Isn't she lovely?

Here she is in all her glory....



And I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired! But I love every minute of it, and her!

How long can I hold my breath?

I started this post on the 16th and finished it today, the 24th.

Well, funny I wrote what I wrote in my last post cuz guess what??? Those birth parents did choose me! I heard from my adoption caseworker on August 13 that they wanted to meet me. My sister just happened to be at my house when the phone rang and J., the caseworker said, "So how would you feel about meeting the birthparents?" to which I replied: Holy Shit, when and really, why? She laughed and said "because they chose you!" At which point I dropped the phone. Fortunately, my sister helped to focus me. I put the call on speaker phone and we both hugged each other while J. told us the situation.

She explained that I would meet the birth parents on the 15th and laid out how these meetings usually go with one caveat...because in this case, the baby has already been born. So, J. did the best she could to let me know what to expect and to remind me about 100 times that the best thing to do is to be myself. They've already seen my adoptive profile so know a lot about me. They chose me because there's things about me they like, a lot. So I just needed to remember to be myself.

I did meet with the birth parents and spent an agonizing weekend and Monday waiting to hear if I would be the official chosen one. Late Monday night J called to give me the good news! I am a mom. Well, assuming no one changes his/her mind. So I've spent every day at the hospital spending time getting to know my daughter. I cannot begin to put into words how I feel. An initial attempt would have to include the word gratitude. Because that I am full of. Not just to the birth parents of this little angel, but to all of my friends and my acquaintances who are being very generous with all of their baby items: clothes, bassinet, crib, and more. I cannot believe how many items people have offered to either give or loan me.



And I cannot believe I am going to be a mom. The whole process has taken 9 months. This is what J. figured out for me today. She told me I've had my pregnancy. I still am waiting with bated breath in case some one changes his or her mind. I don't believe that will happen but....

Isn't she lovely?

Ouch!

I cannot remember the last time that I posted. I am so very sorry. I don't know what happened. I think life just got the best of me. First there's work, then there's family, then there's exercise, then there's shopping, then there's reading, then there's sleeping and I forgot to write. Hmmm.

So there's this baby thing going on in my life. My sister had her 2nd child, a daughter, in June. I was there for her birth. What an amazing experience. I am so very grateful that my sister and her husband allowed me to be a part of that miracle. I won't every have that experience for myself, so I am lucky to have been able to witness it from the other side.

Thank you sister!

My baby thing is this adoption thing. I got an e-mail 2 weeks ago from the adoption agency that did my profile asking me if I would consider adopting a baby who was born
at 28 weeks to which I replied yes, depending on certain items of concern. All of my questions were answered and I said a definite yes! I also asked how many profiles were given to the birth parents and was told "less then 5" which meant I had at least a 25% chance of being chosen to be the mom to this little baby. I had my fingers crossed and my hopes up, although I tried really hard not to let my hopes rise. As of today I have heard nothing. I thought I would have heard something by the end of last week. The adoption worker who I spoke with told me I should hear by today at the very latest. I can only assume that since I have heard nothing, that I have not been chosen. I have to tell myself that this baby was not meant for me. That there is a baby out there that is supposed to be mine...I hope. Yes, I am disappointed and sad. I do hope there is a baby for me. Soon........

Why am I still a nervous wreck?

Wow, over a month has gone by since I've last posted and I thought I was feeling like posting more regularly. Who knew.

You'd think that since my house is rented that I wouldn't be worrying so much. Ha! My sister tells me I'm worrying just as much, if not more. I think I'm the kind of person who has to have something to worry about. I can't just be happy....

That's what I thought until about 5 days ago. The rent for March did get paid and the mortgage for that month got paid as well. I did feel much relief after that...but I always find something to worry about.

And when I worry, I stress. And when I stress, I get myself into all sorts of troubles. Let's see...on Tuesday I got into a minor car accident. In a parking lot so the police wouldn't come out. Which is okay with me. To be totally honest, I think it was both the other driver's and my fault. We were both in a hurry and then we both got pissy about the whole thing...then the accident happened. Luckily we weren't driving very fast. We scraped the side of each other's car. I'm glad Michigan is a no-fault state. But I realize that the accident didn't have to happen at all. I need to practice acting out of a place of love and patience. Oh how I try. But sometimes I seem to fail at that. The only thing I can say is I have to keep trying. I'm human after all. And that means I'm not perfect.

So...I'm going to practice acting out of a place of love.

Time for a change.

Well, I decided it was time for a change. My life has been changing lately and it was time I changed my blog. I'm feeling more and more like I have something to say as is reflected by the number of my postings lately.

Look for more postings.............

Yes, its a done deal!

Well the eggs are hatched and I've counted my chickens and they add up well. I have indeed rented my house and got my asking price! This is where we all give a collective sigh of relief. AAAHHHHHHHHHH. 

I have now taken it off the real estate market and kind pay off some bills and even have a little bit of fun. Now that I have a little extra money. Let's give that collective sigh again please. AAAHHHHHHHH. 

The rent I will be collecting will pay the mortgage and the property taxes. Sigh here please....AAAHHHHHHH.

One more sigh, if you don't mind. AAAHHHHHHH.

I am using a property management company but they weren't having much luck finding a tenant. So, I posted my house on craigslist. I initially posted it and that evening I deleted the post and immediately reposted it so it would come up as a new posting every day. And I believe that helped the situation. As soon as I started doing that I had received 12 responses within a 2 week period. And one of those responses rented it. So...I also was pretty wordy in my description of the house and posted pictures. I am very happy and relieved. Okay, just one more sigh please. AAAHHHHHHH.

So now I get to pay off the debt I've accumulated since moving to my new house and paying 2 mortgages, I get to save, save, save for that baby to be and I will allow myself a trip this year...since I do love to travel and I have not gone anyplace exotic in a few years. I'll keep you posted on the travel plans.

Hip Hip Hooray for me!

I hope all is well with all of you.

The house has been rented!

Well, I shouldn't count my chickens before the eggs are hatched cuz didn't I get really close to selling the place and the buyers backed out at the last minute?!? Well, I have probable renters who will sign the least today at 3pm. I have my fingers crossed that they will actually sign it. I will keep you posted.

Powered by ScribeFire.

It's a girl!

We're having a baby. No, not me. At least, not yet anyway. My sister and her husband are having another one. It's a girl this time and we are all so very excited. When my sister was pregnant with my nephew she and her husband agreed that the gender would be a surprise. They also agreed that with subsequent pregnancies they would learn the sex of the baby. So...we know she's a girl! She's supposed to come into the world on June 11th. I am very happy about this but there's a bitter sweet feeling that seems to exist as well.

I'm thinking about my mom. She's been gone for almost 2 years now. Jeez! I can't believe its been that long. At times it still feels like yesterday, and other times it feels like forever ago. My sister and I have talked about how we are used to our lives without our father. He passed away in 1986. That's 22 years ago. We've both agreed that we do not want to get used to our lives without our mother. I believe we were thinking that about our father way back when.

I am so very sad that she won't be around to see her daughters have children or get to know her daughters children. Nor will those grandchildren have the opportunity to know her.

As for my baby process...it is official. All of my adoption paperwork is complete and turned in. I am now in the waiting phase. It sort of feels like being pregnant. Only I don't know when the baby will be born. So its a protracted pregnancy. That's okay. I'm planning for the nursery and all my friends and my sister's friends are helping to shop for baby stuff. It's fun. I'm having fun anyway.

In the process I'm feeling better about living in the metro Detroit area. And, I've been dating again. Wow. It's been a while since I've dated and this is fun too. Who knows, maybe moving back "home" was not such a bad idea after all.

I'll keep you posted on all the goings on around here.

Watch Out For That Flu Bug!

In case you aren't aware of this, there is a nasty flu bug going on around. Vomiting with diarrhea and a fever. It lasts 4-5 days. So, be careful to wash your hands regularly. Take your vitamins, eat right and make sure to get enough sleep.

I am on the watch for that flu. My sister, bro-in-law and nephew all have it and I'm avoiding them like they've got the plague.

Stay healthy!

Powered by ScribeFire.

Travel from Hell

Well, I made it back to Michigan in one piece after a travel from hell trip. Traveling to my brother's in Illinois should have only been a 2 hour plane trip. He lives just 5 minutes from a smaller airport and things should have gone smoothly. But, on the day we were supposed to leave, there was a butt load of fog in Illinois, so our flight was initially delayed, then canceled. Unfortunately, because my sister, her husband and their 21 month old son, did not book their flights on the same itinerary as my step-dad and I, we were not to be rebooked on the same flight, and, we were not to be rebooked on a flight that day. It was important for us to get to Illinois that day as it was my niece's birthday and we were all looking forward to spending time with her and celebrating her big 15th! So...we opted to fly into Midway in Chicago which my brother neglected to tell me and so did NorthWorst airlines, that there are no flights from Midway to Bloomington (where my brother lives). Well, we made it to Midway but had no way to get to Bloomington. All the car rental places were booked, there were limo's but they cost upwards of $800.00. Eventually, we discovered a bus that ran from Midway to Bloomington. That was another 2.5 hours. So, here's how the day looked...we got to Detroit airport by 7:30 to catch a 9am flight. We left Detroit at 2 and landed there at 2:30pm. We caught a bus at 6 and got to Bloomington at 8:30pm. Now, we had initially decided not to drive thinking it would take way to0 long to get to Bloomington, a whopping 6.5 hours by car...Who knew!?!

Oh, but wait, dear readers...on our return trip we had part deux of our travel from hell saga.

We were to leave Christmas Eve day to return to Detroit. We got to the Bloomington airport at 9 to catch a 10am flight. We loaded onto the plane and loaded off the plane with the knowledge that there was a slight difficulty and we were to be leaving shortly. The captain told us to "stay close to the terminal" in case we were able to leave shortly. Ha! The airport is so small we couldn't help but stay close.

Anyway...our flight was canceled and again we were not to be booked to leave Bloomington for Detroit until Christmas day...that is, if there were any available flights. So, we opted to fly to Atlanta then to Detroit. Remember our travel time was supposed to be 2.5 hours.
We left Bloomington at 2pm, landed in Atlanta at 4:30. We left Atlanta at 6pm and landed in Detroit at 8:30pm. We did not make it home until 10:30 that night.

So...here's the deal. I can understand that weather and plane troubles interfere with the best laid flight plans. But what I cannot understand is how unhelpful and how unfriendly many of the Northworst customer service people were. If I had been rude and nasty to them in my dealings with them during these trying times I would expect rudeness back. I could go on and on about this, but I won't. Suffice it to say they were not a helpful bunch. To add insult to injury...there was a particular TSA person at the Bloomington airport who was one nasty biotch. Again, if my family had been rude and nasty to her I would expect the same in return.

There was no call for the rudeness and nastiness we received those 2 days. For shame on Northwest and on the TSA person at Bloomington Airport.

In spite of all of this I want to wish you all a happy new year.

Powered by ScribeFire.