Mom:

	Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remember You
	Found at skreemr.com

I will remember you, will you remember me....weep not for the memories.

Standing on the edge of something much too deep. Funny how I feel so much, I cannot say a word....

I will remember you will you remember me. Don't let your life pass you by...weep not for the memories.

Okay, so every time I think about my little girl I can't help but feel my heart swell. It swells so much it hurts.

I only wish my mom were around to share in my awe. I know we didn't always get along. She wasn't the easiest person to be with. I'm sure neither was I. But I do wish she were still alive. I think she would be very happy and content.

She gave me every thing she had, she gave me life. I will remember her. I just wish she hadn't let her life pass her by. I almost let mine pass me by.

She would have 3 little grandchildren living within 5 miles of her, and another on the way. (My younger brother and his wife are expecting a baby in May.)

Actually, the more I think about this the more I realize this post isn't really about my mom, its about me. Truth is, I wish I hadn't waited so long to have a child. I'm 46, soon to be 47, in March. Miss J. is going to be a year in July. I am fearful I won't be around to see her get married, or have children. I try not to worry too much about that. I have decided to mostly focus on making sure there are a lot of people in her life who love her! Because, someday when I am no longer alive, she will need to rely on those people. And the more people she can turn to, the better off she will be.

If I hadn't waited as long as I did, perhaps I would have been able to have a child naturally. Perhaps not. I will never know. As such, I have Miss J. to cherish. But still. There are regrets.

If I hadn't waited as long as I did, perhaps my mother would have been able to know and love my child.

I'm so afraid to love you, more afraid to lose....

I love you mom. I love you Miss J.

Don't let your life pass you by. Weep not for the memories.